"The truth will set you free, but first, it will piss you off."

-- Marianne Williamson

Perhaps because the truth has the ability to make someone angry many of us avoid speaking it. In a survey of 40,000 Americans, 93 percent admitted that they regularly lie at work. An article in truth in the workplace in Fast Company surmised that for employees, telling the truth could jeopardize their careers; for managers, it could mean facing difficult issues. Which might be why Warren Bennis found in his book, On Becoming a Leader, that many top leaders rely on the candid opinion of their significant others rather than those of their employees or colleagues.

But there is as much truth in action as there are in words. Jim McCann, an entrepreneur and founder of 1-800-Flowers was a pioneer in the use of toll-free numbers and the web in selling products to customers. He was quoted in Fast Company as saying, "My first rule of communication -- whether it's an e-mail, memo or half-day briefing -- is "Tell me in the first sentence what you would have told me in th last sentence.'" In other words, get to the point. By knowing the objective of the conversation or proposal, McCann could listen more effectively and actively to the details. It's like seeing a film or reading a book for the second time. When you know where it's going, it's easier to read or watch for its deeper meaning.

Gaining vision and insight sounds like a tranquil pursuit, but in reality, it's a volatile process. Most of the time we really don't want to look for that deeper meaning, content with the first answer we come across. To continue digging for the truth could mean confronting and questioning our own perceptions and behavior. And this usually leads to change, never easy.

The truth will piss us off because it is likely to reveal more of ourselves than we wish to know. But by facing it, and letting it guide our future thoughts and action, the truth will eventually -- and thankfully -- set us free.

In 1994 I wrote a column about hope and angels. That year angels could  be found everywhere -- from desk calendars to popular film and public art. They even made the cover of Time magazine. That year 69 percent of Americans polled by Time said they believed in angels. Forty six percent said they believed in their own guardian angel.

Where have they gone? Ironically, they may have been too angelic. The angels of history were mighty messengers. Back then, anyone who invited an encounter with an angel was prepared to be totally changed by the experience. In 1994, angels has been reduced to bite-sized beings, easily digested and most often found on postage stamps and refrigerator doors.

In 1994 Los Angeles has also just experienced an earthquake that caused one of our major freeways to collapse. Then, structures crumbled from natural disaster. Now, they crumble because of a man-made economic disaster so great that streets develop huge sink holes and water mains burst almost weekly. And now disaster is not just a freeway in Santa Monica. It's the personal struggles so many people are going through financially and emotionally. It's the large structures and infrastructures the world over that have been struck by devastating acts of nature and man. From every angle we have literally been shaken to our very core. Ground we trusted to be solid is giving way. Even hope -- that deeply embedded emotion in all of us stalwart optimists -- is waning.

Hope might not be enough. Swords might be too much. And really, neither will help us right now as a tool or weapon against our weakened state. Instead, we need to turn to ourselves. We need to become our own and each other's angels, administering strength of heart and fairness of mind. It's been said that when Buddha arrives again, he won't come in human form, he'll appear as a community -- we'll see him in one another. Perhaps this has already happened and we just need the dust to settle a little more so we are able to see him and us. Maybe it is time again for angels. And maybe those mighty messengers are you and me. Let's hope so!

"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."

T.S. Eliot

We learn through experience but modern life can rob us of the elemental tools we need to create our own perceptions and opinions about the world. Not only can media simulate real life experiences such as riding a roller coaster or playing a guitar but our reliance on crowd acceptance of a place, person or idea has reached an all-time high due in large part to social media.

While all of this has its place, there is no substitute for the direct experience.

In Travels, an autobiographical travel diary, author Michael Crichton (ER, The Andromeda Strain, Jurassic Park) wrote:

"I eventually realized that direct experience is the most valuable experience I can have. Western man is so surrounded by ideas, so bombarded with opinions, concepts and information structures of all sorts it becomes difficult to experience anything without the intervening filter of these sources. And the natural world -- our traditional source of direct insights -- is rapidly disappearing. Modern city dwellers cannot even see the stars at night ... it's no wonder people lose their bearing, that they lose track of who they really are and what their lives are really about."

And he wrote this BEFORE blogging, Facebook and Twitter. Imagine how great the increase in those "information structures" he mentions has become and then how great the distance has become between us and direct experience.

Travel allows us to reconnect with our natural insights, to see the stars and to gain perspective on our external and internal landscapes. That said, it's difficult to travel as much or as long as we'd like but it helps just to go somewhere new, even in your own city or region. 

With that in mind, last weekend Dave and I headed out early toward the Angeles Crest to Mount Wilson (home of the Wilson Observatory). Even though the sky was filled with huge rain clouds, the view was stunning. It was clear enough for us to see beyond the streets filled with little houses, over the port, out across the silvery-grey ocean and to Catalina Islands miles away.  Sitting at the edge of a huge boulder above the trees was akin to soaring.

As we started to make our journey back down the mountain we were stopped by a mountain biker who had placed his bike and himself in the way of our truck. He was obviously in a desperate situation. He told us he couldn't ride any more; he couldn't even work the brakes for a downhill run, and asked for a lift off the mountain. So we put his bike in the back and listened as he recalled the ambitious 100-mile journey he had attempted that day -- half of it on a steep incline up the mountain. He had set out with athletes of Olympic caliber who didn't wait for him as he fell farther and farther behind.

I am sure his friendship with that group will never be the same, but then, neither will he. When he woke that morning he had no idea what he was or wasn't capable of. He found out. How many of us push ourselves to the limit, and then go even beyond that? It's something we need to do in order to really learn about ourselves. Now that man knows what he can do. If he simply leaves it at that and has learned where his limitations are, that's good. If he takes it a step further and now views that limitation as a goal, or a new line to be crossed and conquered, then all the better.

This is an important shift in perception. This is what only direct experience, (or if we want to call it really is -- confrontation) with our own nature teaches us. Our external travels are also internal ones and when they meet up along the same seemingly insurmountable mountain we learn so much more than if we had never taken that journey at all.

"To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower. Hold infinity in the palms of your hand and eternity in an hour."

-- William Blake

The artist in this video revealed a world in several hundred grains of sand during "Ukraine's Got Talent" late last year. The story she "paints" is the aerial bombing of Kiev during World War II. She's standing behind a table covered with sand and lit from beneath. An overhead camera has been placed above the table and the video is projected on a large screen behind her so the audience can watch the painting unfold.

What I found interesting watching this is that each action she makes is fueled by her knowledge of the end result. She knows where she is headed before she begins and everything she does serves that goal. And even though her art is temporary, its impact is powerful and memorable. A reminder that everything we do -- whether someone sees it or not, whether it last forever or a minute -- matters.

P.S. She won the competition!

Oprah got it right by calling the epiphanies we experience in life "aha moments." Because if she called them what they really are -- such as "moments that rocked my world," or "ideas that made me rethink everything I know about myself" -- she'd scare off half her viewers from ever seeking change.

And yet, even that which rocks our world doesn't necessarily bring change to us overnight. The "aha moments" are really flashes of lightning that hit our hearts and minds then work their way through our entire system until real change actually occurs.

For me that lightning bolt hit on a random Tuesday night years ago when several friends took me to see Marianne Williamson speak. This was at the height of the AIDS epidemic and she had been working with people infected with HIV, holding workshops on The Course in Miracles (a method for choosing love over fear) and building a reputation not as a healer, but as a guide for people moving in that direction.

I came to the lecture with no expectations. I left reeling with thoughts and emotions. I felt alive and although I wasn't sure HOW to do it, I knew I COULD create the change in my life for which I longed. But in the end it wasn't my "life" that changed. It was me. And that one very simple thought is at the crux of Williamson's teachings.

External forces don't change. How we perceive them and react to them does. Therein lies the miracle.

I was fortunate enough to hear Wiliamson speak many more times after that up until 1994 when she moved away from Los Angeles. Each time she amazed me with her insight and her ability to start with one small idea, take it to a global, then cosmic level and finally circle back to the original thought perfectly and without notes. I have never seen a better speaker. But it wasn't her technique; it was her energy and her message.

Her message was -- and is -- extremely powerful. So much so that many people have attributed the well-known quote "Your playing small does not serve the world" to Nelson Mandela. In actuality, it is a quote from Return to Love, the first of many of Williamson's books to become a New York Times bestseller. Here is the full quote, the perfect sentiment for this time of year. An inspiration and a guide for how to refuel after we empty our minds of old thoughts and perceptions that hold us back.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

 -- Marianne Williamson, Return to Love

A GIFT FOR YOU!

In the spirit of the holidays I would love to give a copy of Return to Love to a reader of Fuel: Passions That Drive Us. Just leave a comment here over the holiday season and I'll randomly draw a name from those comments on January 5. If you don't want to, or can't, leave your name with an e-mail link so I can get in touch with you, just check back on the 5th. I'll post the name of the winner then and you can get in touch with me.

We all draw from our nature, but few of us explore our nature through drawing and art. We are blessed by people who can do this -- who express the passion and beauty that is within and around us. These are people who see the world differently -- who can translate even the most everyday occurrences into something that touches our collective souls be it a sculpture, a painting, a poem or a photograph. People such as Michele Ogilvie.

When I first met her years ago, she was creating intricate multi-media sculptures that exquisitely expressed emotions and inner worlds rich in layers of meaning. Each revealed the passion within Michele to understand her interior world and how it related to the exterior world.

Throughout the years Michele's passion for art, nature, yoga and philosophy have transformed (and of course, continue to transform) not only who she is but what her art is to her and what it says to us, the viewers.

"About three years ago," she says," I felt the need to simplify my work. I put away my torches, hammers and nails and picked up a pen and sketchbook. The decision was liberating and it brought me closer to the understanding that the act of creating is a dance between meditation, dreaming, surrendering and intention. This was the catalyst for Burst (more about Burst below)."

WHAT INSPIRES YOU?

"The short answer is that I'm inspired to create when I'm moved by an experience, sensation, thought or idea that bursts out of my head and heart and onto canvas. It's an explosion of gratitude and it comes from a place of acknowledging that the mind, body, and soul connect and tie our world together on an intimate as well as global scale"

"The piece of art is sort of like confetti at the end of a celebration."

WHAT FUELS YOU?

"Simple things. It doesn't take much to get me amped. I'm in awe of nature -- watching roses grow, diving through waves in the ocean and walking without an umbrella in the rain. A lot of my imagery is taken from things like this. I am fueled by the invisible essence of people, places and things -- that which we don't really see but can feel and intuit. The soul that generates our lives and experiences. It seems to me that when we get to the center of this, we can meet the truth of who we really are and have real conversions about our likenesses and differences from a place of respect, compassion and creativity.

"Essentially, I am fueled by life and living."

BURSTING

This past year Michele truly Burst forth with a new website and several blogs that allow her to explore the same themes yet also to share her art and passion more freely and allow a great number of people to own them and enjoy the work in their own environments.

I love that she called it "Burst." The word is perfect for all that she wants to convey.

"It says it all in so many ways," she says. "To give way to extreme emotion -- as in my heart will burst; to emerge or spring suddenly -- to burst onto the scene; and to be filled to the breaking point -- to burst with excitement."

A POP-UP online GALLERY ON FUEL!

A "showing" of Michele's recent burstings -- beautiful Giclee** prints -- and her thoughts on them.

AXIS MUNDI

"The tree series called Axis Mundi captures the essence of how energy moves through and around nature. I chose to focus on the tree because it represents an axis that not only grounds itself to the earth but also reaches to the sky."

"It's a symbol that depicts the potential of our lives. It gets tangled, bends, curves and sometimes breaks, yet it is always resilient and continues to grow and branch toward the light."

ZERO POINT FIELD

"This is a series that I created in the spirit of personal and universal healing. On one level the paintings are abstract and expressionistic. On a deeper level they are meditation tools, or Yantras. A Yantra is the visual equivalent of a sound mantra, such as Aum. They are used to support an intention to turn inward, balance the mind and focus spiritual interconnectness."

These prints and more are available for sale at www.burstdesigns.com

*GREAT IDEA*  Michele's prints are gorgeous, reasonably priced and make great gifts for the holidays or anytime!

**Giclee is a cutting-edge, professional museum quality 8- to 12-color (as opposed to the four-color process you see in magazines) printing process that takes the place of the outdated Iris and offset CYMK four-color printing. The process uses a highly refined ink jet print head that has thousands of tiny nozzles that spray very fine, overlapping layers of archival pigment onto 100 percent rag archival acid-free paper. This technique is being recognized more and more by internationally known artists and prestigious galleries worldwide.

-- LG

Self awareness is tricky. I've heard it said that the last thing we know about ourselves is how others perceive us. And yet how they perceive us depends on how well we know ourselves. Catch 22? A little but that is where our inner warrior does its work.

At my first job I had an image in my mind of what a professional person should be. I was one person during the day and another in my personal life. But as I inevitably became friends with people in the industry in which I worked this compartmentalization of self became complicated. And yet I remained guarded until I realized that I wasn't having a very rich or rewarding relationship with anyone. It wasn't easy, but I began to open up. Every time I did my warrior did battle with that part of myself that wanted to remain in the shadows for fear of being hurt.

Today, the warrior within us is important for another type of survival -- that of our businesses.

In another Eastern philosophy called the "Thick Black Theory" (a Chinese plan for mental toughness written in 1911) it is argued there can be no enlightenment without a full concept of the darkness. It's a theory that author Ching Ning Chu took up again in a book she wrote in 1995, Thick Face, Black Heart. She wrote about achieving success in our professional and personal lives by creating a "thick face" and using it as a shield to protect, not deflect. And the black heart? She asserts it is necessary in order to develop a noble type of ruthlessness that allows one to succeed without compromise.

"One must thicken one's face to protect his self esteem from the opinions of others," she writes. "The person adept at Thick Face creates his positive self image despite criticism from others. The thick-faced person instills confidence in others through his self-confidence."

The image of a thick face supports that of the warrior who is able to face the world without fear. But what of the black heart? Certainly we've seen the downside of self-centered ruthlessness today in business. But can the ability to take decisive action without regard for the consequences be an asset? Yes, Chu writes, "A black heart is ruthless but not necessarily evil," and she gives the example of a surgeon, general or business owner who does what has to be done.

While I understand that the warrior needs a black heart on the battlefield and the surgeon during an operation, and that there are important lessons to take from the darkness that exists, it's no way to live and work all the time.

For me, I'll take the image of the thick-faced spiritual warrior to be my internal guide for business in 2010 as I set my intentions to ... Make smart, noble choices. Act with less hesitation. Remain facing forward, firmly grounded, and sure footed. Have the hard conversations. Look for points of connection rather than departure. And ultimately, hold steady and breathe into my warrior pose as it reveals new truths, insights and awareness.

I came across her blog last week when she artfully blended food, emotion and color to commemorate December 1, World AIDS Day. I was impressed with how she took her own passion to inspire others to turn up the heat for a cause.

"I felt compelled to cook for this event and asked my fellow food bloggers to cook along with me," Angela writes in her blog. "I called it Red to Remember. Fellow bloggers joined these efforts from all over the world, baking and cooking in Germany, Australia, Ireland, Spain, Canada and the United States."

"Some shared their own loss," she continues. "Some have never been touched by the disease, but were moved to participate. Some helped to educate us.  All moved me in one way or another and I am deeply grateful for the participation. Hopefully, next year we can do this on a larger scale."

Here are a few photos of what these bloggers created. Go to www.spinachtiger.com to see them all.

From Spanish Recipes, Barcelona Spain, Mushroom and Artichoke Timbale with Poached Egg and Piquillos Sauce

From Sippity Sup, USA, Oysters with Red Mignonette

From The Daily Spud, Ireland, Tomatoes in a Bloody Mary Sauce

From Spinach Tiger, USA, Rainbow Shard Torte

Anne Lamott's Bird By Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life has some the best tips on and insights into writing I've read. My own copy is filled with pencil marks and dog ears where she has said something that really struck a chord. Many of her words are with me every time I sit down to write and through her books and writing classes at UC Davis, are with hundreds of other writers as well. But here's the kicker -- her work about writing is so good, that you don't need to be a writer to appreciate what she has to say.

Faith, love, pain and grace all filter though her teachings. She tells her students on the first day of class that all good writing is about telling the truth about ourselves; about connecting honestly about who we are and she does. Although I got this following blurb from the book cover, it really says it all -- at some point in the book Lamott shifts from talking about the "life of the artist to the art of life."

Here's an excerpt:

From Bird By Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life

By Anne Lamott

"Interviewers ask famous writers why they write and it was (if I remember correctly) the poet John Ashbery who answered 'Because I want to.' Flannery O'Connor answered, 'Because I'm good at it.' And when the occasional interviewer asks me, I quote them both. Then I add that other than writing, I am completely unemployable. But really, secretly when I'm not being smart-alecky, it's because I want to and I'm good at it.

I always mention a scene from the movie Chariots of Fire in which, as I remember it, the Scottish runner, Eric Liddell, who is the hero, is walking along with his missionary sister on a gorgeous heathery hillside in Scotland. She is nagging him to give up training for the Olympics and get  back to doing his missionary work at their church's mission in China. And he replies that he wants to go to China because he feels it is God's will for him, but that first he is going to train with all of his heart, because God also made him very, very fast.

So God made some of us fast in the area of working with words, and he gave us the gift of loving to read with the same kind of passion with which we love nature. My students at the writing workshops have this gift of loving to read, and some of them are really fast, really good with words, and some of them aren't really fast and don't write all that well, but they still love good writing, and they just want to write. And I say, 'Hey! That is good enough for me. Come on down.'"

Yet generations ago being a nomad was a state of survival. It was more physical labor than metaphysical meanderings. We carried our belongings on our backs and everything we did during the day was done for one purpose -- to eat for survival.

Today there are still nomads among us who think and live only for dinner. These are the culinary nomads who search the world (and internet) for the perfect meal or ingredient. I'm talking of caterers who, like our ancestors, carry their tools and their food with them. They arrive with tents, tables, chairs and entire kitchen in order to produce celebratory feasts in any number of difficult locales. They are the first to arrive, last to leave.

It's a difficult job, but not thankless in the least. In fact, Pauline Parry, owner of Good Gracious Events, always says that what fuels her each day is the food, the fun and the love. Could it be that simple?

"I know I always say that -- it's about food, fun and love -- but for me it's really more than a tagline," Pauline says. "They truly are what fuel me and drive me forward. I believe people are successful when they do what they love and I love doing this!"

She's done so for the past 20+ years. I met Pauline when I was editor of an industry magazine. She was (and still is) a magazine editor's dream, filled with both design and culinary creativity and the energy to act on all her impulses and ideas with great success.

Today Pauline is at the top of her game. In addition to pulling off the feat of publishing a coffee table entertainment / recipe book (Food, Fun and Love: Party Styles) in less than year, she has spent the past two years traversing the globe, speaking at industry event, consulting with others and producing award-winning events that have introduced new food presentations and underlined her philosophy of food, fun and love.

"It's about living your passion," she says. "When I'm not working with clients on their events, I'm thinking of the next party I will host at my home. Entertaining, connecting, trying new dishes, considering every details of the experience... it's all what I love to do.

"Essentially, I think of what I do as creating a way for people to express themselves to friends, family, and colleagues. I hope that through my example I can show them how to share their passions with others, not hold onto them."

We are all nomads, literally or philosophically. But now we have the luxury to seek more than survival. We want to pursue and attain our passions and ideals. Yet, there will always be that point in our pursuit at which we settle down, if only for awhile, and take our seat at the table. And when we do, it's best not to pick at our food. Take the words of Auntie Mame to heart: "Life is a banquet and most poor fools are starving."

Dig in!

THE FEAST! This al fresco dining experience was created by Pauline and her team at The Simpson House, a bed and breakfast inn located in Santa Barbara. The event was all about the passions of Pauline which she shared with her guests -- top wedding planners in Los Angeles and Santa Barbara. The event was a sleepover (!) and was produced with a team of event artists -- Rrivre Works, Wildflower Linen, Chameleon Chair, Mille Fiori and Classic Party Rentals.

Photo By Marianne Lozano