This week I experienced a revelation at 30,000 feet above sea level. What I learned there I'm putting to use at see level. I'll explain.

On a short plane trip I was seated in my assigned aisle seat when the passenger who had the window seat arrived. The realization that she had to sit by the window was to her a catastrophe. I love the aisle seat, but it was a short flight, so I offered to exchange places. That little drama over, the woman sat with her head in her hands, sighing deeply. I thought she must have been going to or coming from some painful and sad life event so I remained respectfully quiet. When drinks came around they didn't have the choice of cola she liked which was cause for more sighing and a "flight from hell" emanation. To make things worse, when she received her drink it spilled. Clean up required more napkins than she had. I offered mine which she took without reply.

Finally and thankfully, the flight was over. As we got up to leave she turned to me and said, "I hope I never sit next to you again. You must be jinxed." I was too stunned to even respond.

In that one sentence she summed up what I think is the crux of much of our personal and professional problems today -- it's always easier to blame someone or something else when things don't go our way than take responsibility for it. Now I'm not a saint in this matter but I working on it. I learned years ago to stand up for my actions but it's one of those lessons that always comes with a refresher course.

On the same plane trip I was reading Shop Class As Soulcraft: An Inquiry Into the Value of Work by Matthew Crawford (more on this interesting book for another day) and in one section he says: "Iris Murdoch writes that to respond to the world justly you have perceive it clearly, and this requires a kind of "unselfing."' 

I can't stop thinking about this and trying to apply it to some challenges facing me lately. Getting outside of one's head is not easy but it gives us the distance to see solutions with honesty and humility. Since reading that line I've been working to "see" challenges clearly by getting out of my own way. We start early learning to protect our egos and selves from situations, other people who may hurt us and our own faults. I wonder what happens when we change our arsenal from weapons to tools that help us see clearly and justly? I imagine it will take a lifetime to win this battle but I sense there will be a victory in the process.