"The truth will set you free, but first, it will piss you off."

-- Marianne Williamson

Perhaps because the truth has the ability to make someone angry many of us avoid speaking it. In a survey of 40,000 Americans, 93 percent admitted that they regularly lie at work. An article in truth in the workplace in Fast Company surmised that for employees, telling the truth could jeopardize their careers; for managers, it could mean facing difficult issues. Which might be why Warren Bennis found in his book, On Becoming a Leader, that many top leaders rely on the candid opinion of their significant others rather than those of their employees or colleagues.

But there is as much truth in action as there are in words. Jim McCann, an entrepreneur and founder of 1-800-Flowers was a pioneer in the use of toll-free numbers and the web in selling products to customers. He was quoted in Fast Company as saying, "My first rule of communication -- whether it's an e-mail, memo or half-day briefing -- is "Tell me in the first sentence what you would have told me in th last sentence.'" In other words, get to the point. By knowing the objective of the conversation or proposal, McCann could listen more effectively and actively to the details. It's like seeing a film or reading a book for the second time. When you know where it's going, it's easier to read or watch for its deeper meaning.

Gaining vision and insight sounds like a tranquil pursuit, but in reality, it's a volatile process. Most of the time we really don't want to look for that deeper meaning, content with the first answer we come across. To continue digging for the truth could mean confronting and questioning our own perceptions and behavior. And this usually leads to change, never easy.

The truth will piss us off because it is likely to reveal more of ourselves than we wish to know. But by facing it, and letting it guide our future thoughts and action, the truth will eventually -- and thankfully -- set us free.

In 1994 I wrote a column about hope and angels. That year angels could  be found everywhere -- from desk calendars to popular film and public art. They even made the cover of Time magazine. That year 69 percent of Americans polled by Time said they believed in angels. Forty six percent said they believed in their own guardian angel.

Where have they gone? Ironically, they may have been too angelic. The angels of history were mighty messengers. Back then, anyone who invited an encounter with an angel was prepared to be totally changed by the experience. In 1994, angels has been reduced to bite-sized beings, easily digested and most often found on postage stamps and refrigerator doors.

In 1994 Los Angeles has also just experienced an earthquake that caused one of our major freeways to collapse. Then, structures crumbled from natural disaster. Now, they crumble because of a man-made economic disaster so great that streets develop huge sink holes and water mains burst almost weekly. And now disaster is not just a freeway in Santa Monica. It's the personal struggles so many people are going through financially and emotionally. It's the large structures and infrastructures the world over that have been struck by devastating acts of nature and man. From every angle we have literally been shaken to our very core. Ground we trusted to be solid is giving way. Even hope -- that deeply embedded emotion in all of us stalwart optimists -- is waning.

Hope might not be enough. Swords might be too much. And really, neither will help us right now as a tool or weapon against our weakened state. Instead, we need to turn to ourselves. We need to become our own and each other's angels, administering strength of heart and fairness of mind. It's been said that when Buddha arrives again, he won't come in human form, he'll appear as a community -- we'll see him in one another. Perhaps this has already happened and we just need the dust to settle a little more so we are able to see him and us. Maybe it is time again for angels. And maybe those mighty messengers are you and me. Let's hope so!

"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."

T.S. Eliot

We learn through experience but modern life can rob us of the elemental tools we need to create our own perceptions and opinions about the world. Not only can media simulate real life experiences such as riding a roller coaster or playing a guitar but our reliance on crowd acceptance of a place, person or idea has reached an all-time high due in large part to social media.

While all of this has its place, there is no substitute for the direct experience.

In Travels, an autobiographical travel diary, author Michael Crichton (ER, The Andromeda Strain, Jurassic Park) wrote:

"I eventually realized that direct experience is the most valuable experience I can have. Western man is so surrounded by ideas, so bombarded with opinions, concepts and information structures of all sorts it becomes difficult to experience anything without the intervening filter of these sources. And the natural world -- our traditional source of direct insights -- is rapidly disappearing. Modern city dwellers cannot even see the stars at night ... it's no wonder people lose their bearing, that they lose track of who they really are and what their lives are really about."

And he wrote this BEFORE blogging, Facebook and Twitter. Imagine how great the increase in those "information structures" he mentions has become and then how great the distance has become between us and direct experience.

Travel allows us to reconnect with our natural insights, to see the stars and to gain perspective on our external and internal landscapes. That said, it's difficult to travel as much or as long as we'd like but it helps just to go somewhere new, even in your own city or region. 

With that in mind, last weekend Dave and I headed out early toward the Angeles Crest to Mount Wilson (home of the Wilson Observatory). Even though the sky was filled with huge rain clouds, the view was stunning. It was clear enough for us to see beyond the streets filled with little houses, over the port, out across the silvery-grey ocean and to Catalina Islands miles away.  Sitting at the edge of a huge boulder above the trees was akin to soaring.

As we started to make our journey back down the mountain we were stopped by a mountain biker who had placed his bike and himself in the way of our truck. He was obviously in a desperate situation. He told us he couldn't ride any more; he couldn't even work the brakes for a downhill run, and asked for a lift off the mountain. So we put his bike in the back and listened as he recalled the ambitious 100-mile journey he had attempted that day -- half of it on a steep incline up the mountain. He had set out with athletes of Olympic caliber who didn't wait for him as he fell farther and farther behind.

I am sure his friendship with that group will never be the same, but then, neither will he. When he woke that morning he had no idea what he was or wasn't capable of. He found out. How many of us push ourselves to the limit, and then go even beyond that? It's something we need to do in order to really learn about ourselves. Now that man knows what he can do. If he simply leaves it at that and has learned where his limitations are, that's good. If he takes it a step further and now views that limitation as a goal, or a new line to be crossed and conquered, then all the better.

This is an important shift in perception. This is what only direct experience, (or if we want to call it really is -- confrontation) with our own nature teaches us. Our external travels are also internal ones and when they meet up along the same seemingly insurmountable mountain we learn so much more than if we had never taken that journey at all.

"To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower. Hold infinity in the palms of your hand and eternity in an hour."

-- William Blake

The artist in this video revealed a world in several hundred grains of sand during "Ukraine's Got Talent" late last year. The story she "paints" is the aerial bombing of Kiev during World War II. She's standing behind a table covered with sand and lit from beneath. An overhead camera has been placed above the table and the video is projected on a large screen behind her so the audience can watch the painting unfold.

What I found interesting watching this is that each action she makes is fueled by her knowledge of the end result. She knows where she is headed before she begins and everything she does serves that goal. And even though her art is temporary, its impact is powerful and memorable. A reminder that everything we do -- whether someone sees it or not, whether it last forever or a minute -- matters.

P.S. She won the competition!

By Liese Gardner

Oprah got it right by calling the epiphanies we experience in life "aha moments." Because if she called them what they really are -- such as "moments that rocked my world," or "ideas that made me rethink everything I know about myself" -- she'd scare off half her viewers from ever seeking change.

And yet, even that which rocks our world doesn't necessarily bring change to us overnight. The "aha moments" are really flashes of lightning that hit our hearts and minds then work their way through our entire system until real change actually occurs.

For me that lightning bolt hit on a random Tuesday night years ago when several friends took me to see Marianne Williamson speak. This was at the height of the AIDS epidemic and she had been working with people infected with HIV, holding workshops on The Course in Miracles (a method for choosing love over fear) and building a reputation not as a healer, but as a guide for people moving in that direction.

I came to the lecture with no expectations. I left reeling with thoughts and emotions. I felt alive and although I wasn't sure HOW to do it, I knew I COULD create the change in my life for which I longed. But in the end it wasn't my "life" that changed. It was me. And that one very simple thought is at the crux of Williamson's teachings.

External forces don't change. How we perceive them and react to them does. Therein lies the miracle.

I was fortunate enough to hear Wiliamson speak many more times after that up until 1994 when she moved away from Los Angeles. Each time she amazed me with her insight and her ability to start with one small idea, take it to a global, then cosmic level and finally circle back to the original thought perfectly and without notes. I have never seen a better speaker. But it wasn't her technique; it was her energy and her message.

Her message was -- and is -- extremely powerful. So much so that many people have attributed the well-known quote "Your playing small does not serve the world" to Nelson Mandela. In actuality, it is a quote from Return to Love, the first of many of Williamson's books to become a New York Times bestseller. Here is the full quote, the perfect sentiment for this time of year. An inspiration and a guide for how to refuel after we empty our minds of old thoughts and perceptions that hold us back.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

 -- Marianne Williamson, Return to Love

A GIFT FOR YOU!

In the spirit of the holidays I would love to give a copy of Return to Love to a reader of Fuel: Passions That Drive Us. Just leave a comment here over the holiday season and I'll randomly draw a name from those comments on January 5. If you don't want to, or can't, leave your name with an e-mail link so I can get in touch with you, just check back on the 5th. I'll post the name of the winner then and you can get in touch with me.

Update on Tuesday, January 5, 2010 by Mecca

A Return to Love Giveway Results

A random drawing of names this morning decided the results of the giveaway... Desiree Patterson was the winner of a copy of Return to Love. Congratulations!

Thank you to everyone for your wonderful comments and for reading Fuel.

Have a wonderful, warm, inspired and passionate New Year!

Liese